Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Andre the Cage has a posse

Finally we can understand the magnitude of Nicky's fuckin ugly!! Goddammit he's horrifying! What's the last good movie he's done? The Knowing... nah that shit was just as bad as Ghost Rider and we all know it. He'd be perfect for the Andre roll though. Someone hit his fuckin ugly ass up!

Dear Jesus, thank you...I can die now. See you in Hell!

How in the name of all that is fucking holy and delicious did I miss the fucking Donut Burger!!?
This is better than tits on 3po...better than bacon (only cause it has bacon on it) and better than sex on a fucking waterbed!!
Goddammit!! I'm gonna eat one everyday for lunch and wash that bitch back with a 32 ounce glass of bull semen!

In the name of Jesus Christ...Amen.

Big dicks go out the Niki Dees for pointing this sweet ass bitch out! She says: "The hole in the middle is from boner *DOING!*"

OH FUCK! I need solid food now more than ever!


Why didn't I dream up this motherfucking amazing shit! You just add ice cream, squeeze, and BEHOLD you have ice cream float jizz in your ball washer!!! Just imagine all the sick ass combinations you could come up with.

Coke Float
Vanilla ice cream & Coca-Cola (or Pepsi, RC Cola, etc.)
Black Cow
Vanilla ice cream, root beer & chocolate syrup (I bet you could make this bitch a little easier by just adding choco ice cream...but looks like you'd call that fucker a Brown Cow)
Brown Cow
Chocolate ice cream & root beer
Purple Cow
Vanilla ice cream & grape drink (What the FUCK!? Can you say DEEEFUCKINGLISHUS boys and girls?)
Beer Float
Vanilla ice cream & real beer (skip the straw get that shit straight in my face!)
Boston Cooler
Vanilla ice cream & ginger ale, blended. Variations include Vernor's, club soda, sherbet, rum, vanilla vodka, milk, sugar, or even coffee (CHRIST couldn't come up with anything more super)
Snow White
Vanilla ice cream & 7-Up, Sprite, or Sierra Mist (notice no Fresca...that shit is gross as fuck)
Sherbet Cooler
Orange or rainbow sherbet & seltzer water or 7-Up

It's gonna be hard to stay stocked up on ice cream and soder...I may go broke, but I'll be happier than R2 after an oil bath!

Check out the product link. THE FIZZ

Dia de los Muertos Estrella Guerras épico como mierda!!

Dia de los Muertos Estrella Guerras, día áspero traducido de los medios de Star Wars muerto. ¡Estos hijos las perras combinan 2 de mis cosas preferidas! Cráneos del azúcar y Star Wars maldito. En los 10 dólares meros un estallido poseeré a estos fuckers. ¡SERÁN EL MÍO!!

Translation below: Kinda...

Dia de los Muertos Estrella Guerras, roughly translated means Day of the Dead Star Wars. These sons a bitches combine 2 of my favorite things! Sugar skulls and goddamn Star Wars. At a mere 10 bucks a pop I will own these fuckers. THEY WILL BE MINE!!

Check out these fucking works as well as others by artist Jose Pulido at his sweet as shit Etsy shop ala Mis Nopales Art

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My cybernetic servo's are overloading with cuteness

Star Wars mouses!! Fucking maybe the cutest things since Baby Chewbacca a week er so back...CHRIST!! I'ma gonna buy all these cute little plushers!!

My personal fave above Mouse Chewbacca. Kickin ass and eatin cheese for the Rebel Alliance.

Ewok Mouse...kind of a pussy...but still.

Princess Leia mouse would be dope as shit if she were chillin in her slave outfit, still purrty fucking cute.

Darth Mouse. You underestimate the dark side of the Force bitches...cause it's cuter than an Ewok on Christmas over there!

Jabba the fucking mouse...Bring me Solo and the Wookiee. They will all suffer for this outrage.

C3-PO Mouse...fuck off! Absolutely titillating!

And....lastly Luke mouse. Don't get angry Luke but you're a pussy!

This shit is fantastic as balls! Check out all the Star Wars Mices at The House of Mouse

Day of the Dead PIG!! YES PAAAALEASE!!

Um...There just aren't words to describe this awesome. Nuff said.

Check out this etsy seller WWW.MIVIDACREATIONS.COM

ULTRAMAN SODA!? Well, f*ck me runnin!

My co-worker James was up here shattin with me about makin an Ultraman T-shirt. FUN! I started doin a little bit of seachin and researchin and low and behold I discovered prolly the tastiest soda of all times! ULTRAMAN SODA! Now I can't read that shit on the fucking can, but it's gotta be the best right!? Octopus, squid and sushi flavors I'm almost fucking positive. Over ice and mixed with a little bit of Jäger best super drink ev!!

Check out the website...again you can't read a fuckin thing but it's a really fuckin cool site. Shit moves-n-fights and junk! ULTRAMAN SODERSITE


Jesus B-day is coming...I'm just sayin, and salivating!

Are you fucking kidding me! There is a bacon of the month club? If someone were to hook a brother up, I'd have em over every month for some tasty bacon. I'll cook that shit wearing only an apron and let the said purchaser squirt my back with Crisco and toss Fruity Pebbles all up on Crisco & Pebble me...any takers?


Thanks to Surlyboy for shooting this link my way!!

That’s no moon, it’s a sweet f*ckin robe!

This is Red 5, I’m going this fucking amazing Jawaesque robe. Shit man, when I get this I'll be jumping in and outta the tub so much, I may get space AIDS!!

Check out and purchase this bitch at

Sure it's a hundred bones, but fuck...this makes your Twilight Robe OBSOLETE!!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

PAINKILLERS make everything f*cking HILARIOUS!!

Fuck it's a Stromtrooper at home chillin!!

GODAMMIT!! *swoon* This Leia is beggin to take my Light Saber in her Sarlacc pit!!

Spidertrooper...things are different along time ago in a galaxy far far away...shit, Spiderman has joined the Empire and looks like the fucker is attending the conference on fucking Health Care...I bet that's why Peter joined...great benefits.

What the fuckin fuck? I'm into it don't get me wrong...I'm slightly scared of latex...just a little...


The King Trooper.... *fucking speechless*

Thursday, September 24, 2009

What's next Cylon sex dolls!!?

Holy fucking piranha plant!! I'm gonna need a garden, yard or Mario Pooper S.T.A.T!!

Yeah, I know this MEME is tired...But, it's Star Wars, eat a dong.

Some of these fuckin shits made me spit coffee all over my new remote controlled Astromech Droids...R4-A22 doesn't remotely control anymore. Astromech DOWN!!
Bumps to iGeekTrooper for reminding me!! Holy FUCK! He just posted a fucking Millenium Falcon cookie!!!

This trailer makes me wanna dă shǒuqiāng!

We've all seen the above bum sign...awesome! But the fucking trailer below for Ninja Assassin gets my Ben Wa balls all slickery and juicy and smell like a chao chee bai! This bitch looks rad I wanna ka ni na!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

This sh*t right here noocka...this sh*t right here!!

Now this sh•t popped off on September 17th and I'll be f•ckled! I missed it!! Son of a b•tch clocked in at mere 185 LB's. Give me a man who can tackle this b•tch and I'll point back at that f•cker and show you a dude with super fucking powers and heart and artery thingers made out of the fuckin TERMINATOR!!! He can not be defeated!! And...I'll propose to him while wearing only burger buns to cover my naughty bits.
Now one problem I have with these giant godd•mned burgers is...why the f•ck they gotta have all them nasty onions shits on there!? F•CK! So gross! Only thing worse is Megan Fox's thumbs!

Metal, Sci-fi and F*cking amazing!!

Fuck I LOVE metal, I love cyborgs, clothes, and I even love motorcycles and shit, even though they're scurry!
The only reason there is any gay in this video is cause there isn't an actual video....GAY!
But, I'm gonna buy this fucking Australian Death Machine album right now!!! Crystaluni thanks for the link I'm buying you a fucking fruity drink!

Sunday, September 20, 2009


When I arrived in the ATH Keith not only hugged and fucking kissed me but arrived with most fucking delicious fucking treat of all fucking times. If you haven't been to the ATH...Get to here...I haven't met not 1 asshole and thats as hard to find as fucking unicorn!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Mike Groves Museum

Yo...hey nerds. This house is gonna make your dick feel SMALLER!


smaller...'s cold in hurr...

hey, you feel inferior?

I don't know about you....but my dick looks and probably tastes like a Mike & Ikes canny. I GET CHERRY!!!

This ain't even half of the this joint...CHRIST!
O fuck...PS and shit...Athens is fucking amazing. We partayed at the 283 and some other place last nite. Everybody was there...Melissa, Meg, Nuggs, Mike, Keith, Graham, Tom, shit and a fuck ton o people who I forget their names...what the fuck to you want from me people? I WAS WAAAAAASTED!!